Friday, 30 December 2011

Intermission: Slut Awards 2011

Aha! After looking back at my review of 2010, I though I'd resurrect some or all of the same categories as last year, including the all-important Top Ten. N.B. this is my 2011 we're talking about, which is to say films out on general release in the UK in 2011. Hence the mentions for King's Speech, True Grit and so on, and the absence of The Artist, The Muppets and others that I'm hoping will be of note in early 2012

The Biggie - The Multiplex Slut Top Ten Films of 2011:

1. Melancholia
2. Animal Kingdom
3. Senna
4. Rango
5. Neds
6. 13 Assassins
7. Drive
8. We Need to Talk About Kevin
9. The King's Speech
10. Submarine 

[It's worth noting here that, having now seen The Skin I Live In, films from Drive downwards would all drop a place - with Submarine being displaced from the list - as Almodovar's latest would take the number seven slot. A Better Life would have a fair shout of knocking The King's Speech out of tenth place as well]

And... the bottom five films of the year:

1. Big Mommas: Like Father Like Son
2. Just Go With It
3. The Dilemma
4. The Thing
5. Hereafter

Top ten that I didn't see, but wish I had:

1. The Skin I Live In
2. Tyrannosaur
3. The Tree of Life
4. Pina 
5. Kill List
6. The Ides of March
7. Cave of Forgotten Dreams
8. Tabloid
9. The Help
10. Project Nim 

Improved on reflection: Fast 5, Barney's Version, Fair Game  

Diminished over time: X-Men First Class, Tangled, Source Code  

Better than expected: Midnight in Paris, Harry Potter 7B, Rise of the Planet of the Apes 

Not as good as I'd hoped: Super-8, Black Swan, Paul 

The Peter Bradshaw Award for Unmerited Critical Bashing: Melancholia (honourable mentions for The Next Three Days and It's Kind of a Funny Story) 

The Armond White Award for Most Undeservedly Praised Film: Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (honorouble mentions for Lo Quattro Volte and Thor) 

Worst Sequel: Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son 

Worst Title: Rise of the Planet of the Apes 

Most Pointless Reboot: The Thing 

Ham of the Year: Anthony Hopkins (The Rite), ahead of Jeffrey Wright (Source Code) 

Impersonation of the Year: Corey Stoll's Ernest Hemingway (Midnight in Paris) 

Horror Flick of the Year: Julia's Eyes 

Hollywood Central Casting Stereotyped Villain of the Year: Venal South American Drug Lord (Fast 5) 

Best Soundtrack/Score: Melancholia, ahead of Drive and Source Code 

Hunk of the Year: Ryan Reynolds (The Green Lantern), ahead of James Franco (various) and Ryan Gosling (Drive) 

Best Musical Number: 'Under Pressure', as performed in It's Kind of a Funny Story. 

Babe of the Year: Carey Mulligan (Never Let Me Go, Drive), beating Naomi Watts (Fair Game), Anne Heche (Cedar Rapids) and Kirsten Dunst (Melancholia) 

Best Hillbilly: perhaps not strictly a hillbilly, but I can't look beyond Jeff Bridges (True Grit) 

The Michael Bay Movie Poison Award: Jennifer Aniston 

Best Performance by Someone Who Used to Be in The Wire: Isiah Whitlock Jr. (Cedar Rapids), just pipping Amy Ryan (Win Win). Indeed! 

Steepest Fall From Grace: Mary Elizabeth Winstead (The Thing) 

The Harry Dean Stanton Memorial Award (for actors who make even the worst film more watchable): Nicholas Cage (again) 

Enough already: Pirates 4 

Worst Ending: For sheer brass neck theft of plot device, Fast 5

18 comments:

  1. So, no 10/10s awarded. Some moderation needed, perhaps, or was 2011 just a below-par year? Surely there has to be at least one 10/10 each year. Can't think of one though.

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  2. I dunno, I reserve the ten-on-ten mark for genuine all-time classics - there haven't been any this year. I don't know if thath means it's been a below-par year; certainly it's been interesting (not least in the apparent decline of 3D).

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  3. Wow I thought we reviewed a lot of films. Thats an impressive top ten list for the year. I keep seeing Submarine pop up on people's year end lists I am going to have to check that out.

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  4. Yeah, I actually feel like I need to watch Submarine again to see whether or not I really did like it so much; it's faded a bit in my mind since seeing it back in March or whenever it was (and I didn't do a full-scale review so can't entirely recall my thoughts). I also feel bad for skipping out on the director Q&A that took place after the screening I was at, but I really fancied a beer afterward...

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