Never mind The Rite - I've just attended a double-bill from from the infernal pits of Hell itself...
To be fair, I'm hardly the audience that the producers of Justin Bieber had in mind so even reviewing this for the edification of a tiny (but immensely intelligent, attractive and tasteful) readership seems futile. Thankfully it isn't a dramatic role for young Justin, rather this is a documentary following him around on tour and filmed (unnecessarily) in 3D.
And it has to be said that while the music is pretty awful, (even by the meagre standards of the teenybopper genre) the doc itself is kind-of ok and the lad himself doesn't come across as being the godawful brat you might assume him to be (though someone needs to explain that juts because he's famous, we don't need to hear his views on abortion).
Don't get me wrong - no normal functioning adult would want to watch this, but if you're forced to attend with some youngsters then you won't be too appalled/offended, and you may even be (very) mildly entertained. On that note, this is by far the queasiest ticket I've had to buy so far (especially as I was all sweaty after a bike-ride to the cinema) but happily the screening was pretty empty and I sat in the corner at the front, which is probably the least paedo-ish seat in the theatre. I still can't pretend I felt comfortable, though.
Big Mommas, on the other hand, is beyond redemption. I'm not sure who the target audience is or what kind of person would find this funny - certainly nobody else in the showing I was at was laughing. The plot- well, it doesn't matter, suffice to say that is the slimmest of premises to allow Martin Lawrence and Brandon T. Jackson to don 'hilarious' fat suits and take on quasi-offensive stereotypical personae in the name of entertainment. Well, entertaining this is not. It's just utter trash that deserves to die a fast, painful death.
As dreadful and humourless as Just Go With It was, Big Mommas somehow contrives to be even worse: a perfect storm of cinematic awfulness and the worst film of the year so far.
Never Say Never: ****4/10
Big Mommas: 0/10